Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Emotional Dependence

In commenting on other blogs such as http://collegejay.blogspot.com/ I often get involved in questions about “emotional dependence”. I only use that phrase in the negative sense because it says enough in 2 words so that most people know basically what I mean.

I agree that there is nothing wrong with loving a friend so much that sometimes I deeply feel the need to share in fellowship (emotionally depend on him). What I mean by unhealthy emotional dependence is when I selfishly idolize someone to an extreme. Some signs of this extreme are an obsession where I think about him constantly, a jealousy when he spends time with others, or a demand to see him often. In other words, if I treat a guy like a boyfriend, not just a friend, then I have an unhealthy emotional dependence on him.

I definitely HAVE experienced emotionally fulfilling friendships. We all need those. Ask God for more of them as you keep reaching out to others in unselfish love.


MICHAEL said...


"You will not have intercourse with a man as you would
with a woman. This is a hateful thing.

29> Yes, anyone who does any of these hateful things,
whatever it may be, any person doing so, will be outlawed from his people;.

20:13 "The man who has intercourse with a man in
the same way as with a woman: they have done a hateful thing together; they will be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

That is why God abandoned them to degrading passions:

27 why their women have exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural practices; and the men,
in a similar fashion, too, giving up normal relations with women,


MR said...


I agree with you that gay sex is sin and therefore a hateful thing. This is very clear in the Scriptures you quoted, along with several others you did not mention. I believe the Bible.

When I encourage same-sex friendships in this blog I want to be clear about it - I mean friendships that do NOT include sex!

However, I would also point out that lying, greed, stealing, and heterosexual sin are also hateful things. The answer to all sin is the same - Jesus died to pay for it!


MR said...
I agree that you should not let this guy Michael use your blog as a platform to spread his ideas. As Christians we should care for and listen to schizophrenics,...

Dear MR,
Was your father a schizophrenic?

Peace Be With You
Michael Patrick David


Reading 1
Eph 1:11-14

Brothers and sisters:
In Christ we were also chosen,
destined in accord with the purpose of the One
who accomplishes all things according to the intention of his will,
so that we might exist for the praise of his glory,
we who first hoped in Christ.
In him you also, who have heard the word of truth,
the Gospel of your salvation, and have believed in him,
were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,
which is the first installment of our inheritance
toward redemption as God’s possession, to the praise of his glory.


Responsorial Psalm
Ps 33:1-2, 4-5, 12-13

R. (12) Blessed the people the Lord has chosen to be his own.
Exult, you just, in the LORD;
praise from the upright is fitting.
Give thanks to the LORD on the harp;
with the tenstringed lyre chant his praises.
R. Blessed the people the Lord has chosen to be his own.
For upright is the word of the LORD,
and all his works are trustworthy.
He loves justice and right;
of the kindness of the LORD the earth is full.
R. Blessed the people the Lord has chosen to be his own.
Blessed the nation whose God is the LORD,
the people he has chosen for his own inheritance.
From heaven the LORD looks down;
he sees all mankind.
R. Blessed the people the Lord has chosen to be his own.


Lk 12:1-7

At that time:
So many people were crowding together
that they were trampling one another underfoot.
Jesus began to speak, first to his disciples,
“Beware of the leaven–that is, the hypocrisy–of the Pharisees.

“There is nothing concealed that will not be revealed,
nor secret that will not be known.
Therefore whatever you have said in the darkness
will be heard in the light,
and what you have whispered behind closed doors
will be proclaimed on the housetops.
I tell you, my friends,
do not be afraid of those who kill the body
but after that can do no more.
I shall show you whom to fear.
Be afraid of the one who after killing
has the power to cast into Gehenna;
yes, I tell you, be afraid of that one.
Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins?
Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God.
Even the hairs of your head have all been counted.
Do not be afraid.
You are worth more than many sparrows.”


Lk 7:31-35

Jesus said to the crowds:
“To what shall I compare the people of this generation?
What are they like?
They are like children who sit in the marketplace and call to one another,

‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance.
We sang a dirge, but you did not weep.’

For John the Baptist came neither eating food nor drinking wine,
and you said, ‘He is possessed by a demon.’
The Son of Man came eating and drinking and you said,
‘Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard,
a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’
But wisdom is vindicated by all her children.”


Lk 4:38-44

After Jesus left the synagogue, he entered the house of Simon.
Simon’s mother-in-law was afflicted with a severe fever,
and they interceded with him about her.
He stood over her, rebuked the fever, and it left her.
She got up immediately and waited on them.

At sunset, all who had people sick with various diseases
brought them to him.
He laid his hands on each of them and cured them.
And demons also came out from many, shouting, “You are the Son of God.”
But he rebuked them and did not allow them to speak
because they knew that he was the Christ.

At daybreak, Jesus left and went to a deserted place.
The crowds went looking for him, and when they came to him,
they tried to prevent him from leaving them.
But he said to them, “To the other towns also
I must proclaim the good news of the Kingdom of God,
because for this purpose I have been sent.”
And he was preaching in the synagogues of Judea.

MR said...


To answer your question, no, my father has never been schizophrenic. Neither I nor anyone else in my family has suffered from this difficult and very painful affliction. I have had 2 different housemates and one other friend with schizophrenia, however, and I feel strong compassion for anyone who suffers under the torture it inflicts.

In your blog you said that you were hospitalized while suffering from suicidal thoughts, but an experience with Jesus Christ helped you change and move on. I rejoice with you! There is so much to look forward to!

As I said in my comment on collegejay's blog, I do not want to give a public forum for delusional ideas. You are welcome to post comments as you have. None of these have involved delusions as far as I understand. I will only delete posts that are of an extreme nature, delusional, or otherwise distracting from the main point of the blog, including duplicate postings.

Also, anyone should feel free to email me with questions or comments that are inappropriate for a public forum.

A. Friend said...

This has been a problem for me (the emotional dependence) before.
It is very difficult to deal with then it happens, because you really want to have a meaningful friendship but are afraid of losing it at the same time.

Maybe I have to learn to depend on Jesus more than anything so that people won't leave a void in my life.

Micky said...

John 3: 6 That which is born of the flesh, is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit, is spirit.

7 Wonder not, that I said to thee, you must be born again.

8 The Spirit breatheth where he will; and thou hearest his voice, but thou knowest not whence he cometh, and whither he goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.