Christian fellowship and gay jokes

Things have gone very well in my new church in San Diego. A few weeks ago I had a serious talk with one of the pastors and told him all about my fight with same sex attraction and he was supportive and helpful. He understands that I will probably never have enough attraction to a woman to get married, and that is fine with him. In other words, turning from homosexuality means turning to God, not necessarily turning to heterosexuality.

The people in this church have done their best to befriend me and make me feel included. I need that and I thank God for that. Today that pastor invited me over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner with his family and many other friends from the church. I had to laugh because there definitely was a gay theme to some of the joking around before dinner. Two very straight guys sat down together in a very small love seat right in front of their wives. Yes, those are the guys in the photo above. They joked about each others’ bodies and wrestled around like little kids. At that point the church worship leader walked in wearing multicolored flip flops and a tight fitting T-shirt that called attention to his well developed chest. One of the guys on the love seat stopped wrestling, looked up at the worship leader and said,

“You’re looking bi-curious today.”

I laughed a little too loud and long at that, but we were all ok with each other. Several guys in that room know about my attraction to men, and we all knew I would not be offended but that I was laughing along with them. I love it when I have friends I am so comfortable with, that I can joke even about that subject.

Love Your Enemies

Brandon put up a post on the Afterthoughts blog about how it can be cruel when someone looks at a guy’s mannerisms or appearance and then asks if he is gay. In a comment Brandon said, "The point of this post was ... also to get across that judging people on their looks is wrong. And backing people into a corner where they either have to out themselves or lie is wrong too."

I thought others might appreciate my response. Yes, it is definitely wrong to judge others by their looks or mannerisms and then back them into a corner by asking if they are gay. I hope I never do that.

If someone mistreats me like that I want to remember that Jesus said to love and pray for our enemies. He taught us to do good to those that mistreat us instead of repaying evil for evil. Once a straight guy did that to me, only he didn’t ASK if I was gay, he TOLD ME “You’re gay!” I answered him gently and with respect, showing I cared about him. I explained that I was tempted, but God helps me resist. He and I had regular conversations over a long period of time where I kept trying to show him God’s love. We eventually became friends and he apologized for his bad behavior. Last week he actually told me that I am his closest friend!

So God may use you to change the heart of the one mistreating you. Love your enemies.

Luke 6:27-28 (NIV)"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."