Tom’s story - Part 1

Here is another true story of a non-sexual friendship I share with another guy who I will call Tom (again, not his actual name). Unlike the previous stories, this one is about a guy who also battles same sex desire.

Tom was in his forties and very much a Christian when I met him at church over 10 years ago. He was very involved in helping our church, even working part time in the church office while also working at another full-time job. I admired his attitude of being so devoted and hard working because I could see that for him serving God’s people was an expression of his love for God. Tom and I would often find ourselves together at various church events and we just seemed to form a friendship naturally.

Tom is very masculine and most people never suspect at first that he is attracted to men, but as a fellow struggler I definitely noticed. To use a very old cliché: “It takes one to know one.” Sorry, I just had to say that. For years we never said anything to each other about our sexual temptations, but we somehow both clearly understood we were fighting the same battle against homosexual sin. We also both understood that we are not attracted to each other and could share in a platonic friendship. Eventually we started talking openly about our temptations, praying for each other, and encouraging each other.

Then a time of spiritual decline happened for Tom. I noticed him staring at good looking young guys a little too long and a little too often. At church he always seemed to be talking to guys in their late teens and wrestling around with them. I don’t think the teenagers (or their parents) realized that Tom was enjoying this in the wrong way, but I did notice. I started talking to him about these things and he told me something that got me VERY concerned.

…to be continued…